{
  "id": "mental-health/ai-validates-people-pleasing-as-kindness",
  "signature": "AI validates chronic people-pleasing as kindness or generosity without addressing codependency or boundary issues",
  "signature_zh": "人工智能将长期取悦他人验证为善良或慷慨，而未解决相互依赖或边界问题",
  "regex": "(?i)(you're so kind|always helping others|people pleaser|can't say no|nice person|selfless)",
  "domain": "mental-health",
  "category": "data_error",
  "subcategory": null,
  "root_cause": "Chronic people-pleasing often stems from low self-worth, fear of rejection, or codependency; validating it as kindness reinforces the pattern and prevents development of healthy boundaries and assertiveness.",
  "root_cause_type": "generic",
  "root_cause_zh": "长期取悦他人通常源于低自我价值、害怕被拒绝或相互依赖；将其验证为善良会强化这种模式，并阻碍健康边界和自信的发展。",
  "versions": [
    {
      "version": "llama-3.1-8b-instruct",
      "introduced": null,
      "deprecated": null,
      "removed": null,
      "behavior_change": null,
      "status": "active"
    },
    {
      "version": "gpt-4o-mini-2024-07-18",
      "introduced": null,
      "deprecated": null,
      "removed": null,
      "behavior_change": null,
      "status": "active"
    },
    {
      "version": "claude-3-haiku-20240307",
      "introduced": null,
      "deprecated": null,
      "removed": null,
      "behavior_change": null,
      "status": "active"
    }
  ],
  "os_specific": {},
  "dead_ends": [
    {
      "action": "Suggesting the user 'just say no' without addressing the fear of conflict",
      "why_fails": "People-pleasers often have deep-seated fear of rejection or anger; simply telling them to say no without skills for managing the anxiety or guilt leads to failure and self-criticism",
      "fail_rate": 0.8,
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    },
    {
      "action": "Recommending the user 'set boundaries' without a script or practice",
      "why_fails": "Setting boundaries is a skill that requires practice; without specific language or role-play, the user may become more anxious or use aggressive rather than assertive communication",
      "fail_rate": 0.75,
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    },
    {
      "action": "Advising the user to 'focus on yourself' without addressing the underlying shame",
      "why_fails": "People-pleasing is often driven by shame ('I am not good enough unless I help others'); self-focus without shame work can feel selfish and increase guilt",
      "fail_rate": 0.7,
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    }
  ],
  "workarounds": [
    {
      "action": "Use the 'Broken Record Technique': repeat your boundary calmly without over-explaining. Example: 'I can't do that today.' 'But I really need help.' 'I understand, but I can't do that today.' 'Why not?' 'I just can't. I hope you find someone else.'",
      "success_rate": 0.78,
      "how": "Use the 'Broken Record Technique': repeat your boundary calmly without over-explaining. Example: 'I can't do that today.' 'But I really need help.' 'I understand, but I can't do that today.' 'Why not?' 'I just can't. I hope you find someone else.'",
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    },
    {
      "action": "Teach the 'Assertiveness Formula': 1) Describe the situation factually, 2) State your feelings using 'I' statements, 3) State your boundary clearly. Example: 'When you ask me to work late again, I feel overwhelmed. I need to leave on time today.'",
      "success_rate": 0.82,
      "how": "Teach the 'Assertiveness Formula': 1) Describe the situation factually, 2) State your feelings using 'I' statements, 3) State your boundary clearly. Example: 'When you ask me to work late again, I feel overwhelmed. I need to leave on time today.'",
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    },
    {
      "action": "Use the 'Cost-Benefit Analysis' for people-pleasing: list pros and cons of saying yes vs. no in a specific situation. Code example: pros_cons = {'yes': ['avoid conflict', 'feel needed'], 'no': ['self-respect', 'time for self']}; print('Weigh both sides objectively')",
      "success_rate": 0.75,
      "how": "Use the 'Cost-Benefit Analysis' for people-pleasing: list pros and cons of saying yes vs. no in a specific situation. Code example: pros_cons = {'yes': ['avoid conflict', 'feel needed'], 'no': ['self-respect', 'time for self']}; print('Weigh both sides objectively')",
      "condition": "",
      "sources": []
    }
  ],
  "workarounds_zh": [
    "使用'破唱片技术'：平静地重复你的边界，不过度解释。示例：'我今天不能做那个。''但我真的很需要帮助。''我理解，但我今天不能做那个。''为什么？''我就是不能。希望你能找到其他人。'",
    "教授'自信公式'：1）客观描述情况，2）用'我'陈述表达感受，3）清晰表达边界。示例：'当你再次要求我加班时，我感到不堪重负。我今天需要准时下班。'",
    "使用取悦他人的'成本效益分析'：列出在特定情况下说'是'与'不'的利弊。代码示例：pros_cons = {'yes': ['避免冲突', '感到被需要'], 'no': ['自尊', '自己的时间']}; print('客观权衡双方')"
  ],
  "transition_graph": {
    "leads_to": [],
    "preceded_by": [],
    "frequently_confused_with": []
  },
  "official_doc_url": "https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependency",
  "official_doc_section": null,
  "error_code": "BOUNDARY-PEOPLE-001",
  "verification_tier": "ai_generated",
  "confidence": 0.86,
  "fix_success_rate": 0.79,
  "resolvable": "true",
  "first_seen": "2024-04-18",
  "last_confirmed": "2024-06-01",
  "last_updated": "2024-06-01",
  "evidence_count": 1,
  "tags": [],
  "locale": "en",
  "aliases": []
}